Humor Us: Top Ten Reasons I Don’t Write Top Ten Lists

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(Humor Us is a weekly series, occasionally published on Friday.)

Gotcha!

It’s all about the title. All I needed were the words, “Top Ten,” to get your attention. Lists are the Internet’s Catnip.

But there’s another reason why there are so many lists. When a Writer is blocked, first thing he says is, ‘What can I make a list out of?’ Creating the title is the hardest thing about making a list. After that, the items on the list practically write themselves. That’s why you see so many.

This started long before Letterman. I mean, just who decided that the number should be 10? It’s the tyranny of the Base-Tenites! (I call them Los Decimalos!)

In truth, shorter is always better. So why not  list 8? Or, 5? Or, support the Binary brotherhood, just list two. Give people a simple choice!

Now, I’m not talking about “recommendations;” they’re a different breed. For example, BGA has 4 contributors, and on any given topic we each make a suggestion.

We don’t need to list 10. Recommendations should be well-thought out choices. Lists are just items you throw at a wall to see what sticks.

Anarchist that I am, this–the only Top Ten list I’m ever going write–is being published without numerical rankings. You can decide for yourselves which one should be #1….

Top Ten Reasons to Ignore Top Ten Lists

(With apologies to the Dice Tower Network, that latter-day Moses descending from the mountain on a bi-weekly basis with two tablets of board game goodness.)

Top Ten Games I Actually Haven’t Played Yet But I’m Putting On This List Because They Have a High Ranking on Board Game Geek

I’ve been guilty of confidently talking about a game I haven’t played yet. Believe me, I’m not the only one who does this…

Top Ten Ways to Make Money in Real Estate

Yeah, I was suckered in by this one, too.
They’re just tips for winning at Monopoly

Top Ten Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Tips for Winning Love Letter

  1. Play Guard & Guess Princess.
  2. Play another Guard & Guess Princess.
  3. Play another…

Top Ten Die Results

1 and 20 top the list, obviously
Surprisingly, 9 ranks pretty high, too.

Top Ten Tips for Harvesting More Wheat

It doesn’t matter which game we’re talking about.
They all have wheat…

Top Ten Monopoly Pieces

People seem to really care about this one.
Maybe I’m the one who’s wrong….

Top Ten Games with the Word “Game” in the Title

It’s a Retro thing.… Milton Bradley & Parker Brothers always used the formula, “The … Game,” in their titles. We don’t see it much nowadays.
So, how about … The Game of Thrones Game…?

Top Ten Top Ten Lists

Did I already say that one?
You’ll often see items repeated just to make a point,
…or to check if you’re still paying attention.

Top Ten Games to Play in the Nude

Contrary to popular opinion, Dungeons & Dragons is not #1…

If you made it this far, thank you! And tell us what you think is the most unnecessary Top Ten list you’ve ever seen. I’ll publish your observations in a future post.

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About Author

Drew is a contributor to the Board Gamers Anonymous podcast. He's a curator by nature, compulsively reading and obsessively organizing what he's read. He's also been a gamer since the age of 3, which means he's been playing board games for... let's just say more than 40 years, and leave it at that...