(Humor Us) Board Game Disclaimers

Someone on Reddit’s /r/boardgames subgroup – who goes by the GoT-sounding username littleturd – asked, “What disclaimers do you wish you could add to a game to warn people before they buy it?

A very sensible question, as all thoughtful buyers would like to know more about a game than just the teasers printed on the box.

Predictably — and happily — the suggestions quickly veered into Silly territory. Not a bad thing, really. After all, a good Disclaimer deftly combines a portion of humor with a portion of truth…

So, I waded through all 400 responses on the thread and picked out the funniest 21 Disclaimers. (Contributors’ Reddit usernames are in parentheses.)

Disclaimer: None of these ideas are mine. I’m just the messenger.

BOARD GAME DISCLAIMERS

7 Wonders: Calculator sold separately. (-dr00)

Arkham Horror: You’re gonna get a bunch of rules wrong. (luke37)

Battlestar Galactica: 2 Hours 4 hours. (tollsforthe)

Carcassonne: Someone will score farmers wrong. (I_never_respond)

Cards Against Humanity: You’ll enjoy this game less and less every time you play it. (chipbloch)

Citadels: 2-8 players 2-4 players. (Hemtroll)

Diplomacy: Shovels and body bags not included. (lurker69)

Dominant Species: One player will be eliminated from competition on turn 1 but must play for next 4 hours. (daivos)

Galaxy Trucker: Not everybody finds random destruction of things they built funny. (humanbeem)

Hey That’s My Fish: Takes 5 minutes to play. Takes 10 minutes to set up. (Iliad_Keys)

Mage Knight: You’re going to need a bigger table. (thejeff79)

Magic the Gathering: The person who spent the most money on the game will win every time. (howboutme)

Monopoly: You’re playing it wrong. (madusa77)

Myth: Here’s a box of plastic dolls. Some game design required. (mlinhardt)

Primordial Soup: This game was packaged by Satan. (Capthalfbeard)

The Resistance: Everyone but you is a spy. (SnailShell01)

Robinson Crusoe: You will have no idea what is going on, and you will die the first time you play. (bakyuryu69)

Settlers of Catan: You’ll get wood for sheep. (Yanks9548)
(Someone had to say it…)

Twilight Imperium 3: Good luck finding people to play with you. (Iliad_Keys)

On all cooperative games: May cause others to realize you are a narcissistic control freak. (MashRoomBog)

On all Stefan Feld games: Theme not included. (latenightswords)

 

  • Drew is a contributor to the Board Gamers Anonymous podcast. He's a curator by nature, compulsively reading and obsessively organizing what he's read. He's also been a gamer since the age of 3, which means he's been playing board games for... let's just say more than 40 years, and leave it at that...

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